I. LOVE. POTTY. HUMOUR. Especially when it happens unintentionally, and on a large scale.
An article that was in the Toronto Star last Thursday has had me laughing out loud whenever I think of it. It's been days, and the funny hasn't stopped. I would link to it, but it's not appearing on the website so I'm actually using up valuable nap time to share it. It's a good thing I can type really fast, although there'll be some typos because I swear, I bust a gut every time I read this. The parentheses will contain my comments, just in case you can't see why I think it's so funny. And if you don't, your inner eight year old is calling, and he wants to know what happened that you're such an old sourpuss.
Excerpted from the Toronto Star, Thursday March 24, 2005
Title: Truck spills human sewage. As reported by Megan Ogilvie, staff reporter. (Need you read more?)
A truck carrying treated human sewage from Toronto spilled some of its load (LOAD!) on a Michigan highway yesterday morning.
The spill occurred just after 6 a.m. in Flat Rock and closed two southbound (GET IT? SOUTHBOUND? NUMBER TWO?) lanes of Telegraph Rd., the main artery through town, said Steve Tallman, chief of Flat Rock Police.
"He slammed on the brakes for whatever reason. There were 60 feet of skid marks," he said. (SKID MARKS! GET IT? SKID MARKS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) "When you stop that suddenly, something has to move. (I'll bet!) The load (LOAD!) came out of the front of the trailer and down into the cab. There had to have been about two to three feet of sludge between the trailer and the truck. It was a mess."
And so on, and we all get the picture, but I don't really need to go on about how no one was hurt and the haz mat crew cleaned it up and blah blah blah biowaste, do I? Really, if you want to know more, do contact me and I'll fill you in.
But come on - did the police chief really use the term skid marks in all innocence? Because IT IS JUST TOO FUNNY THAT A THIRTY TON HUMAN SEWAGE ACCIDENT WOULD LEAVE SIXTY FEET OF SKID MARKS!
*holding sides, goes off to change underwear because laughing this hard is still iffy even after a kajillion kegel exercises*
And yes, yesterday's article about "the truck that spilled a lot of Keith's beer" was funny as well, but more intentionally so because the officer interviewed said he was hoping a truckload of pretzels was coming along after it. It's not so funny when the pithy commentator is already there - I like to be the smart ass!