Spos'n the folks are making too
much out of Halloweens
manufacturing news stories
and articles
and entire aisles in stores and creating abundance
where there used to be not much -
and then, there's a backlash about having
"green" healthy Halloweens
an' you don't care,
and you don't want to care,
it's just s'posed to be fun, and it's just one night?
Well,-spos'n?
Spos'n those stupid bags of
potato chips
don't fit in the wee pumpkin
basket, so I hate them?
Well,-spos'n?
Spos'n I'm wearin'
my Target Halloween shirt year-round
because it looks like a cheap version of an Old Crow Medicine Show
tour tee? And it's in the laundry, along with the unicorn costume that's grimy from
over-wearin'
and the child is goin' to cry
because she thinks I can bleach it white
because she wanted to be a WHITE unicorn really,
but I can't,
so there'll be crying?
Well,-spos'n?
Spos'n I really like Halloween,
but I'm tired of folks who write that
people should be
tryin' to make it healthier with raisins an'
granola bars
an' stupid little plastic toys that
end up in the vacuum or clutter up the earth
instead of candy?
Spos'n Halloween was just about free candy from strangers again?
Well?! Spos'n?!
And spos'n I'm concedin' to Play-Doh,
because I know my Josephine isn't ready
for atomic fireballsand lemonheads
and gum
and other little kids aren't ready for it either
but I bet even the teenagers will choose it over candy.
Well,-spos'n?
Spos'n I can be trusted to monitor my child's candy intake - or spos'n
I'll even let her eat so much she gets sick,
just once,
So she knows what that's like
because I have got
an "experiential" learner,
not one who is more compliant and content to
follow my directions.
Well,- spos'n?
Spos'n we found nicer pumpkins for less money at
the corner store
than we did at the
hugely expensive Great Pumpkin Farm
and we're happy with them
so we have to remember
we don't need to go so far out
of our way to look
at lots of pumpkins - the toddler CAN be
happy with less.
And so can we.
Well,- spos'n?
And spos'n
I stopped takin' pictures at that place
that was supposed to be a glorious family experience
because it started to suck
and suck
and suck
and it was spos'd to be fun
but all around
each carnival ride cost a latte
the food for humans was awful, and there were no lattes
and the other kids were frantic and dangerous
and
there were petting-zoo animals over-stuffed with twenty-five cent handfuls of corn
not even approaching the fences
they were so full
and that was a perfectly symbolic
representation
of the whole grossly
inflated
Halloween SEASON tripe.
Well,- spos'n?
And when I talk about whining kids,
and about yelling parents,
and we were becoming them
because
just spos'n...
Halloween is the new Christmas when it comes to stress?
Well, I'm spos'n.
