I think I should mention that yes, it's me, there in that article, in Toronto Life's May issue.
HERE!
So. (whistles tunelessly, rocks back and forth on balls of feet with hands in pockets looking skyward)
um...
That's all I guess.
For now, I mean.
Once I actually get to read it, instead of just hearing from various friends about how Katrina Onstad described me perfectly, there might be other stuff to say. And it's a really good article too, I'm sure, because the fact-checkers asked a lot of stuff. Katrina was lovely and really listened.
But for now that's all.
*and the only thing I have to say is that it wasn't a plastic barrette. It was my vintage Elsa Peretti silver barrette from Tiffany's. I'm not going to bother asking them for a retraction.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Daddy, Buy Me a Pony? *edited
Some time ago, we visited a horse farm with our friends. Tomorrow, the pony that Josie loved best that day is going up for auction. His name is Rupert, and he is deaf.
It is tempting.
But we really can't.
It's amazing, how something can come in a message out of nowhere , and lift you up for a second, then you revel in the possibilities - turning them over in your mind and thinking if you just try hard enough, it can happen. Then reality sets in, and we remember that we're just not able to run out and buy our daughter a pony.
We're sorry, Rupert. We're sorry Josie.
*This just in...Rupert is NOT going to auction. This morning, after they clipped him up and gave him a good bath, they realized how flashy and good he looked and figured he had potential as a show pony.
Go Rupert! Go Rupert! Go Rupert!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Look! Look! No! Don't Look!
Look at Josephine yesterday. Josephine was drawing! Drawing on scraps of lumber from our basement renovation. Look!
Look! What was Josephine drawing?
Oh! Look what Josephine was drawing!
Josephine is drawing a rat! Look ! Josephine's daddy drew a rat too! Why? Why is Josephine drawing another rat?
Because! Because there was a rat!
A rat in their house yesterday.
Josephine's mommy saw a rat in their house yesterday.
Two contractors working in their house saw the rat too!
Not a mouse.
Not a cat.
Not a bat.
A rat! Yes! A rat!
Josephine was very excited about the rat. Josephine thought the rat came in the house to be friends.
Josephine's mommy and daddy did not want the family to be friends with the rat.
Josephine's mommy wanted the rat out! Out, out, rat!
Josephine was excited. A rat! In the house!
Josephine told all her friends at daycare there was a rat in her house.
Josephine told all her teachers at daycare there was a rat in her house.
Josephine told all the people on the streetcar on the way home there was a rat in her house.
Josephine told her next-door neighbour there was a rat in her house.
The rat came in the house yesterday and hid. The rat hid and hid and hid.
The rat hid under all the things from the basement that have been in the dining room for three weeks. Three weeks! For three weeks, there were basement things in the dining room! The rat hid under them.
Josephine's mommy was already cuckoo in the head. See the cuckoo mommy? And then a rat came!
All day while Josephine was at daycare, and Josephine's mommy was at work, and Josephine's daddy was at work, the rat hid in the house.
The two contractors worked in the house, and sometimes saw the rat.
The dog barked and barked at where the rat hid all day. All day the dog barked. The dog got tired from barking all day. The dog was very tired from the barking at the rat.
The family came home. The dog barked at the rat some more.
Josephine's mommy and daddy found out that no stores nearby had rat traps. They worried. Josephine's mommy worried a lot. The dog barked at the pile of stuff in the dining room.
Then the house grew quiet for the night. Ssssh. How nice! A nice quiet house!
See the dog? See the sleeping dog?
The sleeping dog was tired from all the barking and barking.
Then, while Josephine's mommy watched America's Next Top Model, the rat ran under the sleeping dog's chair.
The sleeping dog woke up and barked and barked at the rat! And barked! And barked!
Josephine's mommy shrieked! And shrieked and shrieked!
Josephine came downstairs and shrieked!
Josephine's daddy came downstairs. He said "I will get that rat!"
Josephine's daddy put on gloves. Josephine's daddy got a plastic container. Josephine's mommy always has containers for things around.
Josephine's daddy moved the chair. Josephine's daddy moved the dog. Josephine's daddy moved some toys out of the cupboard behind the chair.
Look! Look! There was the rat!
Josephine's mommy shrieked!
Josephine shrieked!
The rat ran out!
Josephine's daddy slammed the container over the rat!
The rat shrieked!
The rat's tail was caught under the edge! The rat shrieked and shrieked!
But LOOK! Josephine's daddy caught the rat!
See! See the rat!
The rat was big. The rat was NOT small.
Josephine thought the rat was cute! "Look how cute the rat is!" said Josephine.
Josephine said "Look! The rat pooped! Look at the rat poop! Look!"
Josephine's daddy slid the rat along the floor toward the door.
There, the hallway floor was lower. This had always bothered Josephine's mommy. But now it helped.
Josephine's daddy slid the box onto the lid.
"Bark Bark" said Molly, the barking dog.
"Why can't we keep my new friend!?" shrieked Josephine.
"Bark Bark" barked Molly the barking dog who barks all the time.
"We can not keep the rat." said Josephine's daddy. "The rat would be happier outside with his friends."
"We can not keep the rat." said Josephine's mommy. "The rat carries diseases that could make us all very sick. And he poops. Now there is rat poop I have to clean up! We do not want another pooping pet with diseases that could kill us."
" I will take..."
"...him... to the park to be with his friends. I will take him to the park far away from the house. I will take him there and let him go to be with his rat friends."
"Good-bye rat!" said Josephine.
"Good-bye rat!" said Josephine's daddy.
"Now I've got to find everywhere the rat might have pooped." said Josephine's mommy.
"Bark Bark zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" said Molly the barking dog.
Look! What was Josephine drawing?
Oh! Look what Josephine was drawing!
Josephine is drawing a rat! Look ! Josephine's daddy drew a rat too! Why? Why is Josephine drawing another rat?
Because! Because there was a rat!
A rat in their house yesterday.
Josephine's mommy saw a rat in their house yesterday.
Two contractors working in their house saw the rat too!
Not a mouse.
Not a cat.
Not a bat.
A rat! Yes! A rat!
Josephine was very excited about the rat. Josephine thought the rat came in the house to be friends.
Josephine's mommy and daddy did not want the family to be friends with the rat.
Josephine's mommy wanted the rat out! Out, out, rat!
Josephine was excited. A rat! In the house!
Josephine told all her friends at daycare there was a rat in her house.
Josephine told all her teachers at daycare there was a rat in her house.
Josephine told all the people on the streetcar on the way home there was a rat in her house.
Josephine told her next-door neighbour there was a rat in her house.
The rat came in the house yesterday and hid. The rat hid and hid and hid.
The rat hid under all the things from the basement that have been in the dining room for three weeks. Three weeks! For three weeks, there were basement things in the dining room! The rat hid under them.
Josephine's mommy was already cuckoo in the head. See the cuckoo mommy? And then a rat came!
All day while Josephine was at daycare, and Josephine's mommy was at work, and Josephine's daddy was at work, the rat hid in the house.
The two contractors worked in the house, and sometimes saw the rat.
The dog barked and barked at where the rat hid all day. All day the dog barked. The dog got tired from barking all day. The dog was very tired from the barking at the rat.
The family came home. The dog barked at the rat some more.
Josephine's mommy and daddy found out that no stores nearby had rat traps. They worried. Josephine's mommy worried a lot. The dog barked at the pile of stuff in the dining room.
Then the house grew quiet for the night. Ssssh. How nice! A nice quiet house!
See the dog? See the sleeping dog?
The sleeping dog was tired from all the barking and barking.
Then, while Josephine's mommy watched America's Next Top Model, the rat ran under the sleeping dog's chair.
The sleeping dog woke up and barked and barked at the rat! And barked! And barked!
Josephine's mommy shrieked! And shrieked and shrieked!
Josephine came downstairs and shrieked!
Josephine's daddy came downstairs. He said "I will get that rat!"
Josephine's daddy put on gloves. Josephine's daddy got a plastic container. Josephine's mommy always has containers for things around.
Josephine's daddy moved the chair. Josephine's daddy moved the dog. Josephine's daddy moved some toys out of the cupboard behind the chair.
Look! Look! There was the rat!
Josephine's mommy shrieked!
Josephine shrieked!
The rat ran out!
Josephine's daddy slammed the container over the rat!
The rat shrieked!
The rat's tail was caught under the edge! The rat shrieked and shrieked!
But LOOK! Josephine's daddy caught the rat!
See! See the rat!
The rat was big. The rat was NOT small.
Josephine thought the rat was cute! "Look how cute the rat is!" said Josephine.
Josephine said "Look! The rat pooped! Look at the rat poop! Look!"
Josephine's daddy slid the rat along the floor toward the door.
There, the hallway floor was lower. This had always bothered Josephine's mommy. But now it helped.
Josephine's daddy slid the box onto the lid.
"Bark Bark" said Molly, the barking dog.
"Why can't we keep my new friend!?" shrieked Josephine.
"Bark Bark" barked Molly the barking dog who barks all the time.
"We can not keep the rat." said Josephine's daddy. "The rat would be happier outside with his friends."
"We can not keep the rat." said Josephine's mommy. "The rat carries diseases that could make us all very sick. And he poops. Now there is rat poop I have to clean up! We do not want another pooping pet with diseases that could kill us."
" I will take..."
"...him... to the park to be with his friends. I will take him to the park far away from the house. I will take him there and let him go to be with his rat friends."
"Good-bye rat!" said Josephine.
"Good-bye rat!" said Josephine's daddy.
"Now I've got to find everywhere the rat might have pooped." said Josephine's mommy.
"Bark Bark zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" said Molly the barking dog.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Because and Because and Because.
Nadine said:
Wow. Do I really?
I've been thinking about this. Stirring up the sloshy bits in the old sieve, and then I went looking for a concise way to describe it. And then I decided to ignore it.
Okay - that's part of it. My aversion to the trite and generic "My friend...".
I have very very few friends. A small percentage of the number of friends that others claim to have. Facebook lies when it says I have seventy-nine friends, because I don't. I have acquaintances galore. Business contacts. Friends of friends. People tangential to my life. Folks I hang with. I have a Monkeysphere.
But there is no good generic term for "someone who currently happens to be a part of my life". Even if there was, I may not use it.
I also use names and descriptions in conjunction with descriptions with friends in introductions because it's a polite and slightly manipulative way to introduce people who are in my Monkeysphere - but aren't yet in each others'. Saying to um...just making up names here...Deana...at Josie's birthday party "This is Adrienne" is an introduction, but it doesn't help them to converse with each other without my further involvement. Saying (and um...just an example here) "This is Adrienne, a friend I met through an online writing project a couple of years ago. She's an environmental something or other government honcho, has a lovely daughter um...Francine who is just a little older than Josie; she practices Wicca and loves reading books and is exploring online dating services after a devastating marital break-up." and "Adrienne, this is Deana. She's Brigitta's mother. Brigitta is Josie's only friend from daycare that's here." lets me walk away, gives each a clue about how I'd prefer to frame the interaction, and then there's no awkward "So, how do you know Marla?" moments, which can then be answered with "Through her blog." and then it goes on toward another uncomfortable conversation that may include unintentional witch insults and assumptions of a happy marital relationship. And it also lets Adrienne know that I don't know squat about Deana, which I still don't because Deana isn't very talkative and doesn't have a blog as far as I know. See?
As well, I do it because of the world. It is very, very small - but not close.
For example, a friend of yours brings his dogs to the leash-free area at the park I go to with Molly. I'm now volunteering on the steering committee for that leash-free area in that park. Also on that committee is a woman whose postings to a neighbourhood group you've been forwarded regarding things like used kids stuff (perhaps they came from that same friend of yours). I met her originally through Josie's yoga class. She's the one who organized the Easter Egg hunt which I volunteered to help with this year too; and we both work together in the group that maintains the planters along Queen Street. She's now officially in my Monkeysphere, because I've now had occasion and reason to be in regular contact with her - but I still think of her only as a neighbour. When she wipes my kid's snotty nose and scratches under my bra strap where I can't reach, I'll call her a friend. Hey - it may happen! But, you see? We are all connected - me, you, your friend and my neighbour. Your friend is kind of also now my neighbour, but still not my friend. He's one of the twenty or thirty people I've met at the park with either dog or kid or both; though some there in addition to their presence with dependents, are also customers of the store where I work, or are parents of kids at Josie's daycare, or clients of Steve's. There is not one word for all these people, and using just their names doesn't tell others enough when I try to describe why I'm even talking about them.
It's also part of being a good storyteller, and I do like to think I can tell a story. Though, they are long stories, and sometimes badly told. Naming the characters helps to tell the story. Could you be named anything other than your own name now, Nadine? What if my parents hadn't changed my name from Darcy Faith to Marla Rae? Just as I am a different person from when I used my maiden name, and then my first married name and now my second married name - a big part part of me is the name that I am using. Would Bruce Springsteen have the same ring as Terence Springsteen? And Marla Good can now kick Marla K...'s ass.
It's also fun to add the twist of the knife sometimes, as in "Josie's teacher, Annelise - you know, the one you said makes a bitch-face?" - but that doesn't happen as often. I try to remember, as I mentioned, how small the world is. Just the other week I mentioned a project I was working on with one friend to Crazymumma. Her response? "She gave me a ride home once!"
But really, most truly, I use people's names, often in conjunction with who they are to me and why, because the name we give to something shapes our attitude toward it.
If everyone is merely "my friend", then nobody knows what being my friend really means.
Oh...and your new haircut? Vintage Linda Evangelista my friend.
What a momentous occasion! Your comments are open! I am going to ask a question. I am also going to go and read up on Dorothy Parker as Matterhorn just said my new haircut was more Dorothy Parker than Dorothy Hamill (as I'd perceived it)
In conversations, when you tell a story, why do you always include names? Is it a compulsion or do you feel it's pertinent?
I really want to know this! Just to clarify, here's an example. Why "Josie's teacher, Ivanka," versus just plain old "Josie's teacher"? Why "Mary, whom I know from the park, because she has a dog named Saskatchewan. Her children, Ned and Ted, play with Josie sometimes"?
Just another piece to the wondrous puzzle that is Marla's brain. Exciting!
Wow. Do I really?
I've been thinking about this. Stirring up the sloshy bits in the old sieve, and then I went looking for a concise way to describe it. And then I decided to ignore it.
"Everyone calls himself a friend, but only a fool relies on it; nothing is commoner than the name, nothing rarer than the thing."
Jean de La Fontaine (French Poet whose Fables are one of the masterpieces of French literature, 1621- 1695)
Okay - that's part of it. My aversion to the trite and generic "My friend...".
I have very very few friends. A small percentage of the number of friends that others claim to have. Facebook lies when it says I have seventy-nine friends, because I don't. I have acquaintances galore. Business contacts. Friends of friends. People tangential to my life. Folks I hang with. I have a Monkeysphere.
But there is no good generic term for "someone who currently happens to be a part of my life". Even if there was, I may not use it.
I also use names and descriptions in conjunction with descriptions with friends in introductions because it's a polite and slightly manipulative way to introduce people who are in my Monkeysphere - but aren't yet in each others'. Saying to um...just making up names here...Deana...at Josie's birthday party "This is Adrienne" is an introduction, but it doesn't help them to converse with each other without my further involvement. Saying (and um...just an example here) "This is Adrienne, a friend I met through an online writing project a couple of years ago. She's an environmental something or other government honcho, has a lovely daughter um...Francine who is just a little older than Josie; she practices Wicca and loves reading books and is exploring online dating services after a devastating marital break-up." and "Adrienne, this is Deana. She's Brigitta's mother. Brigitta is Josie's only friend from daycare that's here." lets me walk away, gives each a clue about how I'd prefer to frame the interaction, and then there's no awkward "So, how do you know Marla?" moments, which can then be answered with "Through her blog." and then it goes on toward another uncomfortable conversation that may include unintentional witch insults and assumptions of a happy marital relationship. And it also lets Adrienne know that I don't know squat about Deana, which I still don't because Deana isn't very talkative and doesn't have a blog as far as I know. See?
As well, I do it because of the world. It is very, very small - but not close.
For example, a friend of yours brings his dogs to the leash-free area at the park I go to with Molly. I'm now volunteering on the steering committee for that leash-free area in that park. Also on that committee is a woman whose postings to a neighbourhood group you've been forwarded regarding things like used kids stuff (perhaps they came from that same friend of yours). I met her originally through Josie's yoga class. She's the one who organized the Easter Egg hunt which I volunteered to help with this year too; and we both work together in the group that maintains the planters along Queen Street. She's now officially in my Monkeysphere, because I've now had occasion and reason to be in regular contact with her - but I still think of her only as a neighbour. When she wipes my kid's snotty nose and scratches under my bra strap where I can't reach, I'll call her a friend. Hey - it may happen! But, you see? We are all connected - me, you, your friend and my neighbour. Your friend is kind of also now my neighbour, but still not my friend. He's one of the twenty or thirty people I've met at the park with either dog or kid or both; though some there in addition to their presence with dependents, are also customers of the store where I work, or are parents of kids at Josie's daycare, or clients of Steve's. There is not one word for all these people, and using just their names doesn't tell others enough when I try to describe why I'm even talking about them.
It's also part of being a good storyteller, and I do like to think I can tell a story. Though, they are long stories, and sometimes badly told. Naming the characters helps to tell the story. Could you be named anything other than your own name now, Nadine? What if my parents hadn't changed my name from Darcy Faith to Marla Rae? Just as I am a different person from when I used my maiden name, and then my first married name and now my second married name - a big part part of me is the name that I am using. Would Bruce Springsteen have the same ring as Terence Springsteen? And Marla Good can now kick Marla K...'s ass.
It's also fun to add the twist of the knife sometimes, as in "Josie's teacher, Annelise - you know, the one you said makes a bitch-face?" - but that doesn't happen as often. I try to remember, as I mentioned, how small the world is. Just the other week I mentioned a project I was working on with one friend to Crazymumma. Her response? "She gave me a ride home once!"
But really, most truly, I use people's names, often in conjunction with who they are to me and why, because the name we give to something shapes our attitude toward it.
If everyone is merely "my friend", then nobody knows what being my friend really means.
Oh...and your new haircut? Vintage Linda Evangelista my friend.
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