And Ye Shall know Him By His Limping

Boo Boo: "What are you doing? What did you put there?"


Marla: "Never mind. Just keep walking, kitty man. Or, should I say, limping."


Boo Boo: "No...I want to understand what you are putting there, and why people keep looking at it and smiling when they walk by. Usually they smile at the Boo Boo, now they are smiling at the thing. That is not right."



Boo Boo: (muttering to himself)


Boo Boo: "Oh. So this is how it is? You deny my injury any sympathy?"

Marla: "Oh, yes. Yes I do. After dealing with my concerned citizens and my own guilt all morning yesterday, I took you to the vet, whereupon you promptly stopped limping."

Boo Boo: " I know. The pretty lady called me stoic."

Marla: "I KNOW. That is not the place for you to be stoic. That is the place for you to get necessary medical attention. I was paying for their knowledge, care and ability. $51 to be exact. And all you did was suck back Greenies and 'present'."

Boo Boo: "You were paying for your paranoia that having an outdoor cat is sometimes frowned upon. Assuaging your guilt. Sissy indoor cats get injured too, you know. Doing what, I don't know...maybe jumping off warm soft comfortable sofas?"

Marla: "I was trying to stop strangers from accusing me of neglecting a domestic animal! People were concerned for your well-being and stopped me to ask about you! I want the $51 bucks back! That's a year's worth of underwear for me! A pair of shoes! Fruits and vegetables for the whole family for two weeks! Half the cost of eavestrough cleaning! Haircuts for Josie and me! A letterpress class for Steve! That's the six breakaway collars, not counting ID tags and licenses that you've lost this year! Oh, the things that we could do with $51! Don't you love us?"

Boo Boo: "She stuck a thing in my bumhole!"

Marla: "She was checking your temperature in case you had an infection from a minute puncture wound!"

Boo Boo: "My BUMHOLE! A thing! Stuck up it!"

Marla: "She was being thorough. Admittedly, it was optional - but I went for it when you elected not to limp! I do love you Boo Boo - I wanted to be sure it wasn't something serious. And I wanted full service for that $51."

Boo Boo: "May those who love us, love us; and those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping." (Irish blessing)

Marla: "So that's how it is Boo Boo?"

Boo Boo: "Well, I did stop limping for those ten minutes. Make of that what you will."


Marla: "The sign stays up Boo Boo, for the duration of the limping."

Boo Boo: "Oh! Look! I'm presenting again! Make of that what you will too."

Six Things About Boo Boo, as told by Boo Boo

Marla: "Boo Boo, you were tagged in a meme. Andrea wants to know six random things about you."



Boo Boo "What is this tagging that you speak of?"


Boo Boo: "Six things about the Boo Boo?"


Boo Boo: "Hmmm...only six? I could go on. The mysteries of life as Boo Boo are deep and wide and far, you know."


Boo Boo: "Hmm...which six."


Boo Boo: (thinking)



Boo Boo: "Okay."



"One. I do not appreciate the jokes about my fat sack. You turn me into a eunuch, and this is what you get. Aside from the wobbling underside, I am a sleek, lean, mean kitty machine. I am a panther. The fat sack swings like my balls would, if I still had them. Damn, you took my balls!"




"Two. I am terribly, terribly misunderstood. While I have some reserve, I can be affectionate. I like a good pat on the head. I like my back stroked, and you can even rub my tummy sometimes. I purr, I cuddle, and I rub myself on you not just because I am marking you as mine with my scent, but because there is a tiny, tiny part of me that cares about you, deep inside me. The parts that cared more about you were removed."



"Three. This is called 'presenting'. I rub against you, marking you with my scent...I mean, showing you affection...and then I walk away, tail raised, showing you my crinkle. I show you my bum-hole, because I can. When I do that, it says to you 'You think you know me? Then know this part of me. Know all of me, and take me as I am. Love the Boo Boo, love the asshole.' I have this down to an art. Just as you think I am being a lovely, sweet pet kitty cat WHOOP THERE IT IS - my puckerhole! Also because you feed me cheap cat food sometimes and you took my balls."



"Four. This is where the magic happens. I like the blue cotton blanket better than this pink crocheted thing that the homeless guy made for you. I vaguely resent having to be the recipient of some strange guy's hours of work just because you're sympathetic to him and let him warm up in your store when it's cold or wet - and you don't want to get rid of this even though you have no need for it in the house. I would like the green down blanket back please, and I don't care if you have to wash it more often because it shows dirt sooner. I share my food with the raccoons and two other neighbourhood cats because they didn't take my balls and it costs you more money."


Sometimes the cute young blonde thing crawls in bed with me and feeds me Greenies one at at time, by hand. I don't really like the Greenies all that much, I prefer Pounce. But, I do like that you get annoyed because it takes time away from going places and doing things. Because, you know - you can't take someone's balls away and then expect it to be sunshine and rainbows all the time."



"Five! OH! LOOK! I am presenting again! Answering these questions has become long and tiresome. Good-bye. I'm off to go bask in a sunbeam and swat at passing dogs. I tag no-one, because I have better things to do, like sprawling on the sidewalk and cleaning my pink wrinkle when the neighbours walk by. See ya later, when I hear the magical noise of food hitting my bowl."

The Things We Do For Love (Subtitled, Wherein This Blogger Was Called A "Civic-Minded Parent and Dog Owner" by Her Local Councillor)

Whenever I don't write for a while, I get called on it. Then I must remember that not only to people that know me read this blog, but that people who read this and know me in this way read this blog.

Most often the reason for not posting is due to being busy, either specifically or in general. Sometimes it's a type of inertia. It's hard to get the fingers going again when they're feeling a bit rusty and thick.



It's tempting to paste a bit of a response that I wrote to one person (and sometimes I caution/threaten to do so, because cannibalizing a fine bit of writing saves time and energy and I hate to waste thoughts that still have legs), wherein I explained all that was going on lately. I did mention a certain quote as part of the reason I wasn't writing too. It's not entirely accurate, it's not exactly like I've been on some expedition - but some of the things I've been doing deserve posts of their own with links and backstory and future updates, and this one has been months, and well...it feels like it's been a far-out trip.

This Hemingway quote (from the Esquire magazine in our bathroom - I certainly don't have time to read Hemingway lately) "Now he would never write the things that he had saved to write until he knew enough to write them well. Well, he would not have to fail at trying to write them either. Maybe you could never write them, and that was why you put them off and delayed the starting." was the one I was thinking of.


Now, I don't even have time to write this well this morning. I have things to do. But here it is, written well, or not.




*****

When we moved into this house, it wasn't long before I found a nearby park to use with our old dog, Beauty. We were big fans of the off-leash area at Withrow Park, and it's still close enough that we could use it. Fun fact: Beauty and I, among others, used to use the park at the same time Bruce Mc Culloch was with his dog Chelsea, and the goings-on there became the basis for the movie Dog Park (though the movie was filmed at Trinity-Bellwoods Park). After Beauty passed away, and Molly came into our lives, we realized that with a hound who wasn't a hundred percent perfect when it came to recalling her, that we needed a fenced in area until her training improved. And so, it was back to Hideaway Park.

There, we met the nicest crew of dogs - and their accompanying people. Molly could have great wrestles and chases and sniffs, and I could talk to humans whose bums I don't have to wipe or cook dinner for. It was good for both of us. And then (cue thunder and lightning and clouds rolling in) the City of Toronto introduced the People, Dogs and Parks Policy. It was, and is, an imperfect plan and process to decide terms of use for parks in regard to dogs (and their tax-paying dog owners). There are good parts, like the part where the city recognizes that the parks are for ALL users, and where a park like Hideaway was "grandfathered" in because for eighteen years people have been using it with their dogs without complaint, in fact, driving out the drugs and prostitution that had taken over the park after children had abandoned it. And there are bad parts, where everything becomes subject to review and application and process, and then the neighbour-agains-neighbour issues arise, and the city's policy is not yet clear and it all becomes subject to lobbying and general bullshit.


I joined the steering committee for the park, as the representative for the parents with dogs. While I'll admit my bias toward the dog-side, I'll also admit it was exacerbated by the fact that some of the parents on the committee were not there to do as the city directed - decide the terms of use - they were there to see if they could remove dogs from the park entirely.



The status of that park has been decided, for now, though there has been much protest from one segment. I'm finished talking about that for the sake of here. I think we did well. But there have been meetings and meetings and meetings and meetings and emails galore. Can I also say that the fact that some of the parents on the committee - the ones that oppose the dogs, you know - are parents of children that Josie goes to school and daycare with? Nice, huh? I'm anti-social enough without having to engage in faux-polite conversation with officious ninnies; and it sure was hard to keep my dealings away from Josie's feelings of friendship for their (as one person who shall remain anonymous brilliantly referred to them) "dullard spawn" (I still chortle whenever that pops into my mind).

What happened as well, was that the city offered a new space, and some of the other dog owners did the official bits, and now we have a new off-leash area for dogs. And that is one particular reason why I've been busy.


The Carlaw-Gerrard Off-Leash Area has been dubbed, by "us" C and G Leash-Free. It has a website, even. And, today, we're having a fundraiser (if the rain holds off - it's decided by 10:30 today). So, when we talk about "the things we do for love", we can also talk about how Steve helped us with the logo design, and helping us to make cute buttons to sell, and how a bunch of other people (listed on the Thank Yous page) and how Josie helps by understanding that by doing such things, we make life better not only for our dog, ourselves - but for some of the estimated 250,000 dogs in this city who only have about 32 off-leash areas to serve them.

Here is the flyer (click to embiggen):



When I look at it, and at our new "Ikea" dog park - that will someday, due to fundraising and the city's efforts, be a McMansion of dog parks - I'm so proud of what one small group of people could do. It's not just for the dogs, it's for our own well-being. One person dubbed it "dogtopia" and it's been great.

And that's why, though the teenager that still lives inside me cringes and blasts some Joy Division when it thinks of it -- the grown-up in me knows that Joe Strummer would be proud that when it came time to talk committees, our local Councillor mentioned me as a potential member, saying "Why don't you ask Marla Good to be on the committee? She's a civic-minded parent and dog-owner." - my friend was able to respond "She's already on it."


And now, after a coffee I'm off to the park -- then off (fingers crossed go away rain) to the fundraiser. If you see me there, I'll be wearing my Dogs of Leslieville buttons, and my invisible "Civic Minded Parent and Dog-Owner" hat. And then I'll be asking the Councillor to come over and look at the disgusting mess a nearby parking lot is in. I've got three complaints filed with MLS, and I'd rather be holding warm squishy poo at the new park than having to email the developer one more time, and she's going to hear about it...